A reliable feeling is an indicator

If something is said to be reliable, then it means it must happen consistently over time. Well I have a reliable feeling. No matter if its few months, few days or few hours, everytime i go back to M'sia and see my gf, I would always be depressed after I leave.

To add to that, even when i'm back, there is always this sense of impending doom that it will all end soon and then i can't even enjoy my time with her. Enjoying time = time fly faster. This is actually the reason why i made the "scariest thing in my life" video. It is the expression that I'm doing things, mundane or exciting, without being able to share it with the person I cherish. Time is flying by and I can't enjoy her presence. Isn't that scary?

However, I made it point not to be super "emo" on blogs anymore because I feel it's an abuse of the vitrual world where people bitch, emo etc. to get attention or to get back at someone or some other abusive way of using blogs. So I will end on a positive note. In conclusion, I guess this reliable feeling may be an indicator that when I may have to make the hard choice next time of picking between career and relationship, I should do what makes me happy.

I guess I realized that I'm not the kind of guy I thought I was. One who will priortize achievement no matter what.