"what if"

Some super-philosophical-friend (who likes to turn everything into a positive so much that it seems so fake ) once asked me "What is your niche?" I couldn't answer him. I probably could have a few years ago. But I am now a very confused person. Totally wondering about the "what ifs".

For example, "What if" i was not the afternoon supervisor's son? would half the people in secondary school even know me?

The "what if"s always make me worry about the road not taken. Worried about the opportunity cost. When you open one door, it means you are closing the others. I can't decide what i want to concentrate on. When i observe other peoples skills and their sucess although they are in completely different fields, I can appreciate all and also feel that I can be just like them. All I have to do is indulge in that field. However, it means I'm neglecting other things. Until now, I can't find a trade-off which I like.

It is ridiculous. So ridiculous until I can't even enjoy my life. Even when trying to have fun, I will ask myself, "is this enough fun?" "what if I could be doing something else more fun? " . Then all the fun is gone. I'm not in the moment. Too worried that I am not maximizing the time I have. Ironically, by thinking about it, I already am not maximizing the time I have. Is this confusion ? Greed? Fickled?

It is like I want to be good at everything, and just not good...but GREAT!!! but there is only so much time. Most of the things you want to be great at takes 10-15 years of non-stop effort and diligence. Does this mean that I have not found something I am truly passionate about? Does that mean I am lazy and just a dreamer?

Should I just concentrate on the things that I am familiar with and have potential to be good at now ? or should I explore things until I can say with certainty what I trully am passionate about ?

Honestly, I feel if this keeps up, I would be left behind by my peers. that would be a sad thing. cuz I don't feel I am inferior to them in any way.