wH the 'Emo' : Passion

I have always wondered what I am good at. What are my strengths? Do I have strengths? There always seems to be many other people who are much better than me in everything I do. That is why I always admired people who are at least world class standard in what they do. Some are real while others are fictional.

• L and Kira (from Death Note)
• Lelouche (from Code Geass)
• Many people in life who seems to be able to score really high (first class honours grades) while still maintaing an active participation in curicullum activities as well as as gathering with friends
• Really good sports/dance/singing/acting people I know
• Or just people who get the same grades or better than me with minimal effort

I was suppose to be inspired by this people. Ironically, I'm more depressed than ever. These people seem to have so much talent. Something I seem to lack. Why? Why were people born unequal? Where was the road that divided the people to those that were loved and those who were not? Or was there even a divide to begin with? If that is the case, then what is the meaning of life?

I always wanted to think that I there was something only I could do

I used to attribute my lack of strength in any field due to a lack of passion. Until now, there is nothing in life that really moves me too put all my effort for a long period of time. What do I love to do? What is my passion? I always thought that one day, I would find such a thing. No such luck. Then, I thought maybe I have no discipline and give up easily. I don't know. It just seems so pointless.

I once thought that the only thing I could do was study and get good grades. Possibly my only strength so far. However, I realized that my grades aren't that good. It was just a bit above average. I wanted to be good at volleyball, or badminton, or basketball ,or understanding things faster than other people, or able to analyze things in ways that other people never thought of.

I always wanted to think that I there was something only I could do